All's well that ends well

Monday my uncle had surgery to remove a tennis ball sized tumor in his lung.  Everything supposedly went well (I was seven hundred miles away in Tampa), and he is reportedly recovering very nicely in a really expensive hospital room with no need for chemo or any other such medically induced misery.  He's hoping to be home in time to watch the Super Bowl from a front row seat on the couch, and if he keeps going at his current pace, he'll probably get to.

I'm very happy to hear that my uncle is better, but I have to confess, the past couple of months have been really rough.  Between losing jobs, cancer, and the ups and downs of college life, I've been stressed to the max the past couple of weeks.  Very few of these events directly impacted me - I'm financially independent from my parents, and I haven't seen or talked to my uncle since he's been sick - but in their own small ways they've changed my world.  I've found myself looking around my apartment and smiling at my small life because I know that it's mine and that Chris and I are paying for it.  As I look out my window at palm trees I'm reminded that, although I'm now on my own, not long ago my parents gave everything that they didn't have to get me here.  I'm lucky to have such kind and generous people for parents. 

As for the cancer, it's reminded me that I only get one go at this wild and beautiful life.  Although I'd like to think that I'll live a long and prosperous life the truth is that I very well may not.  I learned when I was five years old that time is not promised to anyone, and that just because you wish for something or think that you deserve it does not mean that it's guaranteed.  People die and people live.  Life is taken from some and given to others.  I don't understand it anymore than you, but I know enough to realize that this moment, this grain of sand is all I really have; a few hundred grains, or perhaps a thousand, if I am lucky.  Life goes by like sand through an hour glass and with every falling granule we take something of this world with us and leave something of ourselves behind.  I can only hope that I leave something good.  I do have one good thing though to leave behind - a dream fulfilled.  

Remember that annoying question from your childhood, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"  And remember how there was always that one excited kid in the class who everyone hated because he had an answer?  Well, I was that kid.  I never showed the excitement, until I was older, and I always made up something boring so to not disappoint the other kids, but I had an answer.  All my life I've wanted to live in Florida and be a sailor.  As I mentioned earlier, I once learned that time is not guaranteed to anyone, well the person who taught me that also gave me an answer.  

The uncle who is currently sick, but getting better, had a brother who also got sick but didn't have quite as much luck, and he was a sailor.  My family and I came down to Bradenton (a city about an hour south of Tampa) to visit him once, and he took me sailing.  My uncle and aunt lived on their sailboat, and I mostly only remember a night that my sister and I spent with them aboard, but I absolutely loved every second that I got to spend on that boat - under sail, under power, or just messing about topsides or below, I loved every part of it.  I only spent a weekend with my uncle and his beloved boat, but it was enough.  I wanted to be a sailor too.  

It's taken me a lifetime and much determination and even more courage, but I have.  I now live in Florida, and, although I don't own a boat, I am a sailor.  My childhood dream came true, and I can't ask for more.  I know that new dreams will come, but none will replace the one that I held onto for a lifetime, the one that came true.  My uncle gave me my answer, and what he left behind for me I'll leave behind for another.  And so is life.  I wonder not only what you'll leave, but also, who gave it to you.  Who else will you leave behind?  I'll leave behind my uncle, and maybe through my family's recent misfortunes I'll find something of my other uncle to keep too.

I'm just happy to report that currently everything is turning out as it should.  My uncle is doing well, and my mom returned to work on Monday and is loving her new job.  My dad is enjoying not working for a crazy person anymore, and me, well, I'm just enjoying my grains of sand and trying to make the most of them.  I'm doing well so far.  I hope that everyone has had a decent week, and I wish you all the happiest of weekends.  Sorry if this post seemed to never end, but I've had many thoughts these past few weeks, and that's what a blog is for, thoughts.  These are mine, thanks for reading.  

P.S. I hope you find your answers.

The rest of the story

I realized, after I published it of course, that my last post left a few things unfinished.  To begin, my mom has found another job after being laid off from the other one, and she started it last Monday just in time to get the flu from my dad and miss the rest of the week.  She seems to be getting better though so maybe this week will be good.  Also, my dad lost his job a few weeks ago, the same week that my mom was hired, but given the stress of his job and the nature of the people that he worked for we're all considering the loss a major gain; I got my dad back!  My uncle is supposed to have surgery tomorrow to remove the cancer, so things are looking up all around.  

As I mentioned earlier, I've gotten back into rowing sometime during the past three months, and it's beginning to really take off.  I and the other rowers are attempting to start a masters rowing program, and, although it's been slow going, we're finally getting to the good part.  We still only have enough people for one eight boat, and much of the time we only have six rowers and a coxswain but those of us who have been at it for a while are now able to row all eight while keeping the boat remotely set.  Today four of us rowed through a massive wake caused by an asshole power boater who apparently didn't have the brain cells required to realize that a rowing shell does not handle waves like a normal boat.  What will make another boat rock gently can capsize a rowing shell, even an eight.  Unlike with a normal boat where you want to point the bow into a wake and go at it perpendicular, in a shell you want to make the boat parallel with it in order to better row through it.  We hit the wake this morning at an angle and, while I'm used to rowing through barge wakes many of the other rowers aren't.  Honestly, it was like rowing down a roller coaster.  Tackling three foot swells in a shell is not something any of us are inclined to do again.  Other than the wake, both practices yesterday and today went pretty well.  We still have a lot of work to do before we get into racing form, but we've also come a very long way - at the very least, every one of us, through early morning practices, cold weather (it was 22 degrees one morning), and blisters, have earned the title, rower.  We're rowers, and although it's been really tough at times, I don't think any of us have regretted the past three months of becoming such.

Alright, well BBC America is doing a James Bond marathon and, having not had many adventures recently, I'm trying to get my fix.  I'm also happy to report that Tampa has hit 71 two days in a row!  It appears that I do live in Florida, I was beginning to wonder.  Now that I'm warm again and rowing is going well, I just need to survive until next weekend.  I hope you guys had a good couple of days over the weekend.  I did.

Happenings

I know, it's been months since I've posted anything.  Sorry, but life and school have been happening, and I'm just now getting back into the swing of things.  Here's a quick update on the happenings of the past couple of months.  

Christmas:  It was crazy!  Chris's parents have recently moved from New Jersey to Charlotte, North Carolina so we began our break with a two week trip up there to visit them.  It was a fun trip although some not so pleasant things were happening back in my hometown.  December 20th was my birthday which was great aside from being told that my mom had quit her job, since they were going to lay her off in mid January, and that my uncle has cancer.  Chris bought me a balloon to cheer me up ( I love balloons because I never get them) and then we all went out to dinner to celebrate my birthday, not everything else.  Christmas itself was exciting, it was my first Christmas away from my parents' house, and the Italian Christmas experience is one to be savored.  Two days after Christmas we drove over to Tennessee to visit my family.  My  sister and brother-in-law drove in from Knoxville to have Christmas and we all had a good time.  I got to see some of my extended family which was comforting considering some of the not so great news of the season.  I barely saw my dad because he was so busy with his job but that happens sometimes.  I did get to see several good friends though, one of whom lives in Chicago so I never get to see her, and we had fun seeing what had changed around our old stomping grounds.  A week after we arrived we left and headed back to Tampa for supposedly warmer climates and the beginning of spring semester.

Everything else:  School started full force three weeks ago and my life has been crazy busy ever since.  I feel like all I do is read about the legal system because of my legal writing class.  I'm also in a lit class so there's plenty of reading there too, at least it's good stuff like Frankenstein.  I'm not on the sailing team anymore due to a complete lack of time for it, and the Waterfront has had limited hours all month due to renovations so we haven't been sailing yet this semester.  The Waterfront goes back to normal hours in a week, and Chris and I cannot wait to go sailing!  I'm still rowing with the masters program, and I must admit that taking a month off for our little road trip has taken its toll on me.  I'm slowly getting back into it though.  Mostly though, I'm just glad to be home and getting back into a life I love.

We had a great time visiting our families, so thanks so much guys for putting up with us.  It was pretty nippy while we were up there, but, believe it or not, it has actually been colder in Tampa this week than it has been in Tennessee.  We even had a forecast for snow one night.  Yes, that's not a typo, I said snow.  It's finally warming up though, even though I've already dug out my passport and am looking at airline tickets to the islands.  It hit 69 today so it's finally beginning to feel like Florida again.  To everyone up north, take care and stay warm.  And to everyone else, move down here - you won't regret it.  That's all I've got for now.  I'll start posting more regularly as I get back into my Floridays.  Cheers!