All's well that ends well

Monday my uncle had surgery to remove a tennis ball sized tumor in his lung.  Everything supposedly went well (I was seven hundred miles away in Tampa), and he is reportedly recovering very nicely in a really expensive hospital room with no need for chemo or any other such medically induced misery.  He's hoping to be home in time to watch the Super Bowl from a front row seat on the couch, and if he keeps going at his current pace, he'll probably get to.

I'm very happy to hear that my uncle is better, but I have to confess, the past couple of months have been really rough.  Between losing jobs, cancer, and the ups and downs of college life, I've been stressed to the max the past couple of weeks.  Very few of these events directly impacted me - I'm financially independent from my parents, and I haven't seen or talked to my uncle since he's been sick - but in their own small ways they've changed my world.  I've found myself looking around my apartment and smiling at my small life because I know that it's mine and that Chris and I are paying for it.  As I look out my window at palm trees I'm reminded that, although I'm now on my own, not long ago my parents gave everything that they didn't have to get me here.  I'm lucky to have such kind and generous people for parents. 

As for the cancer, it's reminded me that I only get one go at this wild and beautiful life.  Although I'd like to think that I'll live a long and prosperous life the truth is that I very well may not.  I learned when I was five years old that time is not promised to anyone, and that just because you wish for something or think that you deserve it does not mean that it's guaranteed.  People die and people live.  Life is taken from some and given to others.  I don't understand it anymore than you, but I know enough to realize that this moment, this grain of sand is all I really have; a few hundred grains, or perhaps a thousand, if I am lucky.  Life goes by like sand through an hour glass and with every falling granule we take something of this world with us and leave something of ourselves behind.  I can only hope that I leave something good.  I do have one good thing though to leave behind - a dream fulfilled.  

Remember that annoying question from your childhood, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"  And remember how there was always that one excited kid in the class who everyone hated because he had an answer?  Well, I was that kid.  I never showed the excitement, until I was older, and I always made up something boring so to not disappoint the other kids, but I had an answer.  All my life I've wanted to live in Florida and be a sailor.  As I mentioned earlier, I once learned that time is not guaranteed to anyone, well the person who taught me that also gave me an answer.  

The uncle who is currently sick, but getting better, had a brother who also got sick but didn't have quite as much luck, and he was a sailor.  My family and I came down to Bradenton (a city about an hour south of Tampa) to visit him once, and he took me sailing.  My uncle and aunt lived on their sailboat, and I mostly only remember a night that my sister and I spent with them aboard, but I absolutely loved every second that I got to spend on that boat - under sail, under power, or just messing about topsides or below, I loved every part of it.  I only spent a weekend with my uncle and his beloved boat, but it was enough.  I wanted to be a sailor too.  

It's taken me a lifetime and much determination and even more courage, but I have.  I now live in Florida, and, although I don't own a boat, I am a sailor.  My childhood dream came true, and I can't ask for more.  I know that new dreams will come, but none will replace the one that I held onto for a lifetime, the one that came true.  My uncle gave me my answer, and what he left behind for me I'll leave behind for another.  And so is life.  I wonder not only what you'll leave, but also, who gave it to you.  Who else will you leave behind?  I'll leave behind my uncle, and maybe through my family's recent misfortunes I'll find something of my other uncle to keep too.

I'm just happy to report that currently everything is turning out as it should.  My uncle is doing well, and my mom returned to work on Monday and is loving her new job.  My dad is enjoying not working for a crazy person anymore, and me, well, I'm just enjoying my grains of sand and trying to make the most of them.  I'm doing well so far.  I hope that everyone has had a decent week, and I wish you all the happiest of weekends.  Sorry if this post seemed to never end, but I've had many thoughts these past few weeks, and that's what a blog is for, thoughts.  These are mine, thanks for reading.  

P.S. I hope you find your answers.