Friends

Through one of my classes I have recently made the acquaintance of an Australian exchange student named Julie.  It has come out this past week in our class that it is very difficult to make friends in Tampa, regardless of where you are from.  I've done okay on the friend front since I've been here a year and lived in the dorm for a while.  Unfortunately, Julie has not had quite so much luck.  She lives off campus, she doesn't have a car, and she can barely get anyone to talk to her - much less be her friend.  She's one of the nicest people I've met here, she loves to laugh, and she is extremely kind.  So why can't she find friends?  I don't know, but I've had the same trouble since moving here.

We met up for coffee on campus this morning before our class, and she told me just how hard it's been to meet anyone.  She's hardly seen anything of Tampa or the U.S. besides her apartment, campus, and Walmart.  To top it all off, a stranger dropped her camera and broke it over the weekend.  As an exchange student, your camera is your only memory of a life you'll eventually leave but always love.  Julie doesn't have a memory now.  My mom is trying to find someone to donate an old digital camera to her.  The point of all this is that it made me realize just how hard it can be to make friends - and just how important friends are.  

I've traveled to Europe twice, once for two weeks and once to live for a semester.  On the first trip I was betrayed by false friends, and I absolutely hated Europe.  I went back two years later with people who became excellent friends, and let me tell you, Paris and the rest of Europe were a different place!  I learned then that you can be in paradise, but that without friends, even paradise can seem like hell.  And so I met Julie.  This semester and next fall (she's here for a year) should be some of the most exciting months of her life, but instead she's been lonely and, although her smile would never suggest it, probably pretty miserable, too.  She is a beautiful person and, from what I experienced over coffee, she is very easy to become friends with and a lot of fun.

Although I haven't met them, I know that there are other people in the world like Julie.  Your friends really do make your world so, please, do me a favor and talk to anyone who may be in Julie's situation.  I've been there, and I can honestly say that it is one of the most miserable ways to live.  Julie has been trying for almost two months to make friends with everyone she's met, but it hasn't been up to her.  It takes two to make a friend, so please, find a Julie and be the second.  Have coffee with them, or lunch, or maybe just say hi.  Whatever you do, it will mean a lot to them, and maybe to you, too.

As for Julie, she now has a couple of friends, and she seems to be doing pretty well.  We're making plans to show her around Tampa this weekend and sometime this morning during our coffee meeting the Australian exchange student/classmate became my friend, Julie.  If our meeting this morning is a sign of what's to come, then I've made a wonderful friend and we'll be having some great times together.  Sorry for the long post, but the difficulty with making friends in Tampa is something that has bothered me for more than a year, and after meeting Julie I decided that it needed to be publicly addressed.  I now understand why many foreigners think that we're so mean and conceited because we act that way, often without intending to.  

As mentioned before, please find people like Julie, whether an exchange student or just a new person in town, and make them feel welcome.  You don't have to do everything with them or solve all of their problems, just let them know that you're there and that you care.  Turn someone's hell into paradise or at least make it tolerable.  America is a great country and it has much to offer, and everyone foreigner and native alike should feel welcome and appreciated here.  That's my challenge for you this week; find a Julie and be their friend.  You won't regret it.  Alright, I have homework to do so I'll be shoving off now.  I hope that your Monday went well, and if it didn't then remember that there's always Tuesday.  Lastly, I'm including a poem by Sam Walter Foss that I first read as a child, and that I still read while traveling or when I meet new people.  I hope that it helps you like it's helped me.

The House by the Side of the Road

There are hermit souls that live withdrawn

In the place of their self-content;

There are souls like stars, that dwell apart,

In a fellowless firmament;

There are pioneer souls that blaze the paths

Where highways never ran-

But let me live by the side of the road

And be a friend to man.

Let me live in a house by the side of the road

Where the race of men go by-

The men who are good and the men who are bad,

As good and as bad as I.

I would not sit in the scorner's seat

Nor hurl the cynic's ban-

Let me live in a house by the side of the road

And be a friend to man.

I see from my house by the side of the road

By the side of the highway of life,

The men who press with the ardor of hope,

The men who are faint with the strife,

But I turn not away from their smiles and tears,

Both parts of an infinite plan-

Let me live in a house by the side of the road

And be a friend to man.

I know there are brook-gladdened meadows ahead,

And mountains of wearisome height;

That the road passes on through the long afternoon

And stretches away to the night.

And still I rejoice when the travelers rejoice

And weep with the strangers that moan,

Nor live in my house by the side of the road

Like a man who dwells alone.

Let me live in my house by the side of the road,

Where the race of men go by-

They are good, they are bad, they are weak, they are strong,

Wise, foolish - so am I.

Then why should I sit in the scorner's seat,

Or hurl the cynic's ban?

Let me live in my house by the side of the road

And be a friend to man.